The New Monopoly

Last night a friend of mine and myzelf went to Wal Mart (I know, I know, I'm losing punk points by the minute). He needed a bunch of shit for his car and I guess it's pretty cheap there and we were already out and about so off to Wally World we went.

In order to make it happen, I needed to be real high. I used to get high and go to Wal Mart and enjoy the shiny lights and trinkets and check out all the yummy mummys. Now I just do it to cope. That place sucks. Everyone's in a bad mood. Everyone's trying to "get theirs" for the holiday season and it's gross. At one point I overheard this young chick ask her fat, disgusting mother if she could get a book and mom refused. "Oh, you'll never read it," the mother reasoned. Way to encourage reading, bitch. Why don't you go buy the girl an Ernest Goes to Summer Camp DVD instead.

The thing that really freaked me out about my visit to Wally's though was when I saw the new Monopoly. Freaky shit. Parker Bros. has released an edition of Monopoly in which players now use plastic debit and credit cards for in-game transactions. The Mark of the Beast! Am I suprrised? Not really. But the shit still is gross. Why is there such a societal pressure to get down with plastic? Haven't we learned enough already? If you don't have it, don't spend it.


They should make a new version of monopoly. All you would have to do to win would be to become the CEO of Wal Mart Coorporation. Fuckers.

...but they do sell deoderant and condoms for wicked cheap, guy