You're Not That Thirsty

I realize that alot of these posts make me out to be what some would say, "everything that's wrong with America", and they do. And maybe I am. I shop at Wal Mart even though I know it's totally fucked. I eat fast food. Alot. I drive around aimlessly wasting gas while looking for a decent place to eat before purchasing a pre-made sandwich from the local deli maybe a quarter mile from my house. I get it. I'm fucked. "Exactly, I'm an American." So the other day I went all the way down to Taunton MA to skate Skater's Edge. The place is epic with two crazy ass bowls a wild mini with lots of variables and a gang of other shit. No photos, once again. I go to skate and rarely think to take pictures, even when I do have my camera.

On the way down there I went inot a McDonald's. I ordered some cheap, gross yet delicious food from the dollar menu and asked the dude for a "glass of water." Pretty much, in the land of fast food if you ask for a glass of water you get a cardboard soda cup of tap water. Standard. So homie behind the counter gives me my food and a cardboard cup. Sweet. I head over to the soda fountain and fill er up. I aksed the dude for a glass of water but he gave me an empty cup. I filled the cup up with ice and got some root beer. Fuck it. The cost is in the cup, which I already had, and the soda is just bags of syrup anyway. No big deal. But then the dude who sold me the food comes up out of nowhere and rips the cup out of my hand spilling root beer and ice. He yanked the cup away and when I said that I would pay for a small root beer he refused to sell me one. I said, "Dude I thought you were hooking me up with the cup. Can't I just buy a small root beer for the dollar?y bad.." And the dude was like, "You're not that thirsty."

What a shitty management style. Tempers flaired and a scene was caused twice over, rather than the MacDonalds losing a root beer.

Everyone is struggling for power in this society because this society is such a frustrating place. Life on Planet Earth and especially in America is a pissing contest and everyone wants to make a big splash. I'm just trying to not lose my mind and catch hold of some free root beer when I can. I guess writing this down is a weird grasp for power in itself, and that is certainly pathetic. I'll bet that fucker from MacDonalds doesn't have a blog though...

The New Monopoly

Last night a friend of mine and myzelf went to Wal Mart (I know, I know, I'm losing punk points by the minute). He needed a bunch of shit for his car and I guess it's pretty cheap there and we were already out and about so off to Wally World we went.

In order to make it happen, I needed to be real high. I used to get high and go to Wal Mart and enjoy the shiny lights and trinkets and check out all the yummy mummys. Now I just do it to cope. That place sucks. Everyone's in a bad mood. Everyone's trying to "get theirs" for the holiday season and it's gross. At one point I overheard this young chick ask her fat, disgusting mother if she could get a book and mom refused. "Oh, you'll never read it," the mother reasoned. Way to encourage reading, bitch. Why don't you go buy the girl an Ernest Goes to Summer Camp DVD instead.

The thing that really freaked me out about my visit to Wally's though was when I saw the new Monopoly. Freaky shit. Parker Bros. has released an edition of Monopoly in which players now use plastic debit and credit cards for in-game transactions. The Mark of the Beast! Am I suprrised? Not really. But the shit still is gross. Why is there such a societal pressure to get down with plastic? Haven't we learned enough already? If you don't have it, don't spend it.


They should make a new version of monopoly. All you would have to do to win would be to become the CEO of Wal Mart Coorporation. Fuckers.

...but they do sell deoderant and condoms for wicked cheap, guy

Some Things Have Happened (Bro)

So some things have happened since my last, somewhat bitter, post that I felt like sharing. Nothing major and nothing that I really have photographs of (whoever said I was a blogger?) but I guess this shit is related to my last post. I'm not sure if anyone's even reading this shit, but I don't have much better to do at 1PM on a Monday, so fuck it.

Firstly, Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, was beautiful. I mean that in the spiritual/groovy "yeah it was a beautiful day, man" sense, as well as in regard to the weather. It was in the forties and sunny, and mostly everyone (even the employed) had the day off. What a top notch day for skateboarding! But I had no thought like that in my mind because since I had written my last post I had called Newburyport Youth Services, who informed me that the skatepark was indeed closed for the season because it was "too cold for the kids to stand out there." "The kids" meaning the skate guards--the skateboarders who get payed to hang out at a skatepark. So I'm on my way to a friend's house to do stuff that's not skateboarding when I see two of my skate friends in a pickup truck all psyched that the park was open and that I had better get down there cause there's only an hour of daylight left. So we get to the park and the park is not open, but the gate is locked by a padlock whose chain is too long to serve the lock's purpose, and we thusly pushed the gate back far enough to walk in, and did so. It wasn't like we were poaching the skatepark (i.e.-breaking and entering--I am on probation so assault would be piled on that [long un blog-worthy story]), there was already a few old guys there with their kids who had apparantly done the same thing as us and walked right in. It was reassuring to see that these people who didn't even skate themselves agreed with me that the park's being closed for the season was a dubious oversight on the part of Youth Services. I know that they agreed with me along these lines because the fact that they walked through the locked gates proved so. My "illegal" skateboarding and paranoia about getting busted for doing some stupid shit and ending up with an assault charge due to probation, had been validated.

The session that day was sick. Some other dudes showed up and ripped with me and my friends and I didn't feel paranoid about being there. The next day I went back there alone. Fuck it, I emptied my pockets of anything that might complicate legal entanglements and skated there by myself for a solid hour, undisturbed. Truth be told, I'm pretty sure that the cops don't even know that the park is closed yet, so if a cruiser drives by, kids in the park doesn't even look weird. I guess it's just up to us to break their stupid rules and make it happen for ourselves. I take it back. Newburyport is still rad. In fact, I think I like it even better when it's closed.

I skated Exeter, Nashua, Fitchburg and Rye the next four days after that.

Exeter's not much to mention other than the fact that there were alot of heads from Newburyport the day that I was there and everyone was ripping and had a good time (I think). Just a good day with a monster skate crew and people were hyped to skate a qurterpipe or box or whatever, just to be around each other and the vibes a session like that can yield.

Nashua was a real rough ride (as I had heard) but there were still a crazy amount of lines to be found there. Plus, they had the legit skatepark vibe: dudes were getting baked and drinking Old Milliwauke in plainsight. It sounds childish, but that makes a park all the better to me, if it's a place where people can basically do what they want.

Fitchburg is nutso, but ghetto as fuck. On the drive there I saw a cop putting some dude in handcuffs in the back of his car in downtown Fitchburg while the pedestrians walked by without giving the scene a second look. If that shit was happening in downtown Newburyport, a Puerto Rican dude getting arrested in front of Richdales at noon on a Saturday, you bet your ass thered be six cruisers and a newsteam there. In Fitchburg, it weren't no thang. The park itself was sick, but the kids there were like throwing garbage in the bowl and just trashing the place up with cigarette butts and empty Big Gulps. An opposite scene from that of Newburyport on the surface, but these Fitchburg youth were taking their amazing skatepark for granted, just as the white (collar) kids in Newburyport. People are people. Kids are kids, I guess.

Yesterday, it snowed. It seemed my little skatepark tour was over and I never made it to Worcester. So I went to Rye. Alot of people hate on Rye, and with good reason. The first thing is that you have to pay to get in: shitty. Not only that, the place is slippier than a convenience store floor at closing time. Slicker than whaleshit. So nobody wants to go there. Wah. I know it sucks to pay and slip around, but wouldn't you rather do that than not skate? I would...
When I got there yesterday it was 1:30 and the kid wanted me to pay fourteen dollars to skate for an hour and a half. I told him I'd be back from 3-6 for my money's worth. Plus there was some weird BMX comp taking place there and the place was crawling with weird emo Christian Rock BMX kids and their parents and stuff. So I went to Gilleys in Portsmouth and had an awesome cheeseburger and then went for a ruthless ride before showing back up to deal with Rye.
My shitty attitude aside, it was really fun. All the BMX weirdos stayed away from the pools and all the little kids there wanted to watch the BMX weirdos do their thing, so I basically had what I wanted to skate anyway, all to myself.
I skated for awhile and then asked some kid what time it was. He was with his dad and they were there to watch the BMX show. "Four Twenty" he told me, and we both kind of chuckled, he with his father there, and I with myzelf. Fourtwenty. Indeed it was.

So now I'm typing all this boring shit with no photos or real descriptions and there's snow on the ground and it feels like it's fifteen degrees outside. What the fuck is next? Keep giving loot to the Christian rocker fruits at Rye? Tuff it out in Haverhill under the parking decks? Probably not, it's supposed to be 45 tomorrow and 58 the day after that. Hooray for Global Warming. I'm sparked.

Keep Skateboarding A Crime

Why does Newburyport even bother to have a hundred thousand dollar skatepark if they just keep it closed half the time?

Newburyport Public Skatepark is a beautiful, free, outdoor concrete skateboard park. It was built by some of the best in the business and has obstacles and lines for everyone from the beginningest beginner to the most advanced pros. It makes spending time in Newburyport, MA worthwhile. When I'm here I prefer to spend my afternoons at the skatepark and my evenings with family and friends. It puts my chi in a good position. Alot of other people I know too--the park (and skateboarding in general) provides the services that those of us who can't afford a therapist rely on. It's where we go to blow off steam. Arthur's usually pissed but look at how happy he is in this photo taken at Newburyport:

That's some sick shit right there, and he has the right to do that everyday. But the city officials/people in charge of maintaining the skatepark and its rules are clueless as to what this park actually is, and built it on school property with a locked fence, only to be open when school is NOT in session. I understand this logic. Given the city's history with Cashman Park Skatepark and their interactions and perceptions of skateboarding drawn from there, they wanted to pull in the reigns a bit when building this park. They didn't want padless lurkers, stoned wayfarers, and wanderlust wayfucker mucking up the city's new investment. I get it. Skateboarders are a rowdy bunch and you don't want to give them seemingly unnecessary freedoms. (God forbid skateboarders are allowed to feel comfortable at a skateboarding facility--amidst the sea of jock practicng and pta jetsetting).

Putting a skatepark at a school is abit like putting a bar next to church. Sure, the school's presence will stop us from drinking beer (will it?) and we'll all wear helmets and skate when the gates are unlocked, but we WILL rub off on your children. If you don't want t your children to become individuals and possibly dirtbags, don't let them skate. This is a culture built on individual freedom and breaking of social norms. Why you want the stalwarts of this lifestyle on top of cheerleading practice and bakesale planning is beyond me.

Today when I went to the park at 3PM when school's out, it was locked. I was infuriated. If you're going to lock this shit up and post times when it is available for use, please adhere to these times. I was at the park one time when it was closed and I was bummed, but not as bummed as the guy who showed up fro Houston, TX to skate. He was in Boston on business and saw NBPT SK8PRK on the internet and it made his wheels itch. Yay! That's what it's for! But when he showed up to ride, the park was gated and locked, presumably because some Turkey Hill would be jock city-designated "skate attendant" decided it was better for him to go home and play videogames rather than open the park.

You put the park at school, the kids treat it like a class--that's ditchable. They're spoiled. They grew up with this concrete park in their schoolyard since 2000 when my friends and the skaters before us were thrilled to have the chance to skate a yellow-painted curb, let alone orgasmic concrete transitional nirvana.

I realize skateboarding has become "safe" "cool"--gentrified. But can't we at least follow the stupid rules we set up for skateboarding--i.e. open the park when you say you will--when theyre should be no rules at all. football practice belongs at school. bakesales are to be monitored. Skateboarding is not.

Class Dismissed.

Hanksy's Last Stand

One-Legged Pigeon, taken in October of 2008 in Downtown Brooklyn, en route to the Atlantic Antic, the mother of all street festivals.

This here post is my way of saying goodbye to New York City, the gnarliest place in the U.S.A. as far as I can tell. Definitely the East Coast. I've lived here for the better part of two years and I will never be the same. From living on an air mattress underneath Horner's stairs in a bed bug infested loft, to expense accounts and blackberries, to unemployment lines, the spectrum of vibes, as Mike Jourdanais would say, is complete. Skateboarding and music have been there the whole time and they aren't going anywhere, but I am.

I'm going to skidattle to Seattle and get couch core at the domecile of Hittin' Michael J. This means many things to me:
I'm flat broke so it's gonna be a real adventure. I may end up digging ditches, flipping burgers and hauling garbage all in the same day. I just don't know. Duane Peters said it best: "Break out and leave yer life behind, that's my favorite fuckin' song" (please get a copy of Inflammable Material if you don't understand the quote) It is time to breakout and leave my life behind. Stoked to pack a duffel bag, buy a sleeping bag and new skateboard and get a one way ticket to SeaTac International airport.

I'll be home for the holidays and then I'm out. It's bittersweet shit but that's usually what life is all about, ya yingyang. Word to Confucious. Oi to the Nation.

After being an East Coast Kid for the past twenty something I'm ready to get all grungy and resurrect the muthafuckin' J to its fullest of full potentials. SMJ has been something that I've always wanted to do. I'm (good?) at it, I fucking love it, and you can't stop me.

And let's not forget that the Northwest is where skateboarding's concrete revolution started--there are more gnarly concrete bowls in Washington than in New England and New York combined. Fuck a career. Let's get weird...


XOXO

Until next time warlock fans, go fuck yaself Brooklyn. And Yes, Believe the Hype. It says it on the sign.

Dispelling Biggie's Hatred Of Black Squirrels

OK, so I'm back at it. I think I learned not to post drunk, because I just reread last nite's post, and I'm asking myself, what the fuck is wrong with me?
I mentioned that I wanted to get away from squirrels, pigeons and gulls, but first I really need to clear something up: My roommate Robbin "Big Head" Park took a look at my last photo post and commented to me that the photo of the black squirrel was a stupid because it just looked like a regular squirrel. So above is the color version of the black squirrel. I think we can put this one to bed, Biggie.

Black Squirrels!

No sooner had I come down from the high of seeing and photographing my first white squirrel in Prospect Park when a few months later I came across a black squirrel in Fort Greene Park. "What's going on here?," I wondered. Mere months ago I had no idea of the existence of black or white squirrels, just regular ones. And now within weeks of each other I saw and captured on film both white and black squirrel in their magnificence?!? Something doesn't add up here, and I intend to find out what...

Albino Squirrels

Check this out! Fuckin' albino squirrels, Dude. Yeah, you know? White squirrels! I'm serious! Have you ever seen a white squirrel before? I haven't, and neither had most of the people I was with when I shot this bad boy. I was with some people in Prospect Park in Brooklyn, NY for Adam (ttp://wanderingwayfarer.blogspot.com) and Kate's going away party when this little beast was spotted. Oh, you should have seen all of us whip our cameras out and shoot that white little bugger. White squirrels, I didn't even know they existed!
I chose to publish these photos in black and white mostly so you can get a feel of how white this white squirrel was, but also because Adam (ttp://wanderingwayfarer.blogspot.com) does alot of his shit in black and white too! Yeah!

Welcome

So this is my first post and hopefully as you guys can tell, this blog is a tribute to my homie Adam's blog, Wandering Wayfarer (http://wanderingwayfarer.blogspot.com/).
At first I thought about just biting Adam's posts as well as his aesthetic: I thought about just checking his blog everyday and literally getting inspired by his shit post by post and creating my own mutations along the way.
Then I realized that was stupid for a couple of reasons, the first being that I could never keep up with that dude. If I do have any regular readers of this blog, don't expect a lot of hot updating action on the reg because you most likely won't get it. I know that a sporadic approach doesn't exactly conform to the sensibilities of blogging, in that blogs are supposed to be regularly updated, but I don't even have a computer, so get off my case.
The second reason I'm not just biting Adam's posts is because I have so many crappy photographs and rantings of my own to share with you.
Like this:



I am perhaps New York City's most beloved yet unknown photographer of squirrels, pigeons and gulls. This picture here was taken on July 18, 2008 in Newport, RI, at the rehearsal dinner for the wedding of my good friends Jason Karahalis and Myra Jenkins (now Karahalis, dummy). This gull was just sitting there in its own crapulence and I was drunk and sort of doing the same thing, so I took its picture. I had my camera as it was a special occasion.